The news of the Backstreet Boys' - sans Kevin Richardson, who I guess realized that at age 35 it was time to leave a band with the word "boys" in it - upcoming new album
(which I will so buy the day it comes out at midnight, you have no idea), has inspired me to go back and rewatch all their videos, like I do sometimes. Would you believe I still know every single lyric and beat and random noise from their first three albums? I am so proud of this fact, because then I can sing things like, "Empty spaces fill me up with holes" and not go, "Wait, WHAT?" and then lose the whole song.
But anyway, if you've never seen it, I wanted to share with you the pure and wondrous ridiculousness that is the video for Incomplete
. Why is Nick Carter thrashing on his knees at a gas station, where his car has apparently caught fire? Why is Howie Dorough drying his laundry in the rain? Why is the old one playing a piano in the middle of a dead forest? Why is everyone shaking their heads in horror and shame and waving their fists in the air in rage, as if they just saw a particularly unsavory-looking streaker run in front of a daycare? However, I really think that the best part is when Brian Littrell jumps into the conveniently placed ocean during the lyrics, "I am swimming in an ocean all alone." DO YOU SEEEEE THE METAPHORS? All I know is that everything about this song and video makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, and I like it that way.
Also bask in the pure 90's cheesiness of the following: I Want It that Way
for some self-congratulatory airport drama (this time with added matching black and white outfits!), their apparent belief that their fans will cryogenically freeze their bodies for a thousand years so they can surf in spaceships in Larger Than Life
, the pure hat-dancing joy of All I Have to Give
(HATDAAAAAANCE!), and the crowning achievement of all BSB vids: the I-say-this-with-no-sarcasm-actually-
pretty-awesome Everybody (Backstreet's Back)
. LOOK IT'S A FLIPPING WEREWOLF IN A PIMP COAT! SUCK IT, N*SYNC!
I'M SO HARDCORE INDIE RIGHT NOW. If you have to pretend this post never happened to be able to speak to me again, I will accept that decision.