words, words - they're all we have to go on

So, I've had this idea for a Vampire Diaries Ocean's 11!AU festering in my brain for awhile and just had to do SOMETHING with it. But I could never write heist fic, and I barely trust myself with any of the TVD characters. So I just made this... sort of crappy picspam. And gave all the characters tokens or something? I guess this is also an Inception crossover? THE SCENE OF THE CRIME IS KLAUS' MIND. It can be whatever you want it to be. But let it be known that it is also my dream season three. IF ONLY! I brought back some people from the dead as well. Also, I didn't really mean for this to be a match to the O11 characters' personalities, just their roles in the heist. Although some kind of fit. Anyway, I think this would be equally awesome as a heist AU totally separate from the show or just a REALLY GREAT season three with lots of stylish suits and big band music and witty banter.

This was going to be Salvatore's 11 originally but then I thought it would be ten times more awesome to make it Gilbert's 11 and have Stefan be Tess. Elena and Damon must save him from his poor life choices! (Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, Stefan?) But Stefan doesn't split eleven ways, so also... profit?? Surprise, Klaus runs a successful chain of casinos! Even thousand year old vampires gotta pay them bills!

Basically this is really ridiculous self-indulgent crack that will probably only amuse me. But I am amused enough at least ten people so it's okay. :D

( Gilbert's 11 )

Man, why don't I control TV?

So I told Eliza I was going to come up with some thinly veiled excuse to post this. But I can think of none.



Ladies and gentlemen, the captain of Germany. STAY CLASSY.

Flist. People. Countrymen, Romans, etc. I just found the following line in a post that I made in 2004:

Slash just isn't my cup of tea.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH.

I literally just sat here cackling for like five minutes. And then (in that post) I went on one of those obnoxious "the evil slash people are forcing their agenda on me and they don't respect my deep love of man-on-woman action and they're always making my favorites gay it up" rants. Oh, self. Oh, self. *wipes away tears*

Thank you for being totally successful with the gay agenda, fandom. Thank you Remus/Sirius and Smallville and, surprisingly enough, the 2004 Olympics for changing my view on this. I will forever be indebted to you.

Probably the best thing is that in the very same month I started reading shoebox_project. Man, that was one principled, lasting stand!

Ahhhh. Agh. Ugh. My brain is exhausted from annoyingly hot weather and allergies and working on this damn Kazantzakis paper all the time. I am 2/3 done. SO CLOSE. I could finish it tomorrow if I pushed it but I probably won't have time. Mushy brain. I don't know what I'm typing.

All I do is think about Kazantzakis (so sad) and sing Flight of the Conchords songs to myself (who were awesome in concert, btw) and sometimes check the BBC Sports page. And I'm like, Jesus effing Christ, Bayern, you fired Klinsmann already? No wonder you can't win a trophy this year if you think results come in the blink of an eye. Poor Klinsmann. We hardly knew ye!

But I do need to mention that Stuttgart is only three points behind Wolfsburg, the leader of the Bundesliga right now. Um, what. Thank you SO MUCH for winning, Cottbus. There is actually a really good chance that Stuttgart could win the Bundesliga this year, is what I'm saying. I mean, if we can beat Wolfsburg and Bayern in our remaining games? And, you know, have something bad happen to Berlin. We can totally do this. Please, football gods, let one of my teams get a trophy this year.

ALSO I AM SEEING CHRIS THILE FOR THE FOURTH TIME YEEEEEEEEEEEES! In a year, but WHATEVER. Yeah, I bought the tickets a year early. I better have some DAMN GOOD seats. I need him to wink at me again, carry on our secret love. I fucking love the IU Auditorium.

Alright, looking over this post, I think it's best if I just go to sleep.

Does anyone happen to know what the single Greek word for "generation of men who fought at the Battle of Marathon" is? Like "homoioi" or "pentakosiomedemnoi." For the life of me I cannot remember it and it's kind of difficult to look for and get the 'did you mean this?' google result.

Danke!

The last section of my Classical Drama course is on Aristophanes, and I don't know if I'm just a sucky classics major but DEAR GOD do I not like Aristophanes and I really, really did not like the Clouds. The entire time I felt like I was listening to some old grandpa talk about how those young whippersnappers just don't have upright moral values or respect their elders anymore - and turn down that Euripides Elvis! - except with a hell of a lot more fart jokes, or "scatological humor", which I have determined is the phrase classicists use when they want to sound intellectual while talking about fart jokes. And then it ends with them killing Socrates which is just disturbing on so many levels not one of which is that SOCRATES WAS KIND OF A REAL PERSON AND ALIVE THEN. Plus the ending of old comedy is supposed to be a happy utopia which means that killing Socrates = happy utopia in Aristophanes' mind.

And yeah, Aristophanes? NOT. A. FEMINIST. At all. His plays may many times be about gender, but not in a good way. I also find it ironically sad/funny that in the Thesmophoriazusae, Aristophanes paraodies Euripides for his bad treatment of women in his plays in a play that is basically telling the men of Athens that they're failing because they've "lowered" themselves to the level of women. UGH UGH UGH. At least Euripides got close to feminism sometimes - as close as old arrogant Athenian citizens could ever get. And I now, I can't place these plays in my own cultural context blahblahblah, but when these plays get held up as an example of feminism? That shit is wrong.

I also just read the bit of Aristotle where he blames the fall of Sparta on the women. Of course. Who else could possibly be responsible in an ultra-exclusive society run completely on the vastly more populous slave labor force with a dwindling male hoplite population because of their constant wars and need to control said slave population? But then there's a Bertrand Russell quote along the lines of, although Aristotle believed that women had fewer teeth than men, maybe he could have avoided this mistake by allowing his wife to open her mouth. ZING.

Sometimes classics can be very frustrating. I am looking forward to the Romans next semester. Not that I think their attitude towards women will be much improved, I just think the Romans are way more fun. Also I can go rewatch Rome and be like, "WHAT! THAT NEVER HAPPENED YOU SILLY PEOPLE!"

This is just for my own reference for when I'm writing fic and trying to remember how much English certain boys know and how strong their accents are. Also I'm a perv.

( english as a second/third/six hundredth language! )

I've reached this point with the Liverpool game today where I just sort of laugh hysterically for a long period of time and then slowly taper off and sit, silently staring at the wall for a prolonged time. Then I start laughing again. It's what you might call "completely batshit crazy time."

There are four options:
1) We get our asses handed to us again and leave the tattered remains of our dignity at Stamford Bridge.
2) It's a boring game and not much happens, but Chelsea go on.
3) We come extremely, painfully close to winning by 3 but narrowly miss it.
4) WE ACTUALLY MANAGE TO DO THIS. WE SHOCK EVERYONE! *laughs quietly to self, rocking in corner*

And I keep making myself think that #2 is most likely what will happen. But then it's like that scene in Arrested Development where Lindsay and Tobias decide to have an open marriage, because even though Tobias knows that all his patients used to convince themselves it would work even though it never would, "it just might work for us." I'm like, "We'll never win, we have no chance, this will be extremely painful to watch... but we just might." NO. STOP GETTING YOUR HOPES UP, SELF.

I have been listening to classic rock all day in the hope that, I don't know, Rafa would sell his soul to the crossroads demon for the Champions League.

In my wildest dreams, it will go like this:



But I imagine the reality will be a lot more like this:



(Hint: Chelsea is Michael.)

Good thing I have a lot of chocolate around.

ETA: FUCKERS DELETED MY GIFS!

F.M.L.

That is all. I know that there is a very small chance that we could go to Stamford Bridge and score three more goals than Chelsea. BUT I KIND OF DOUBT IT.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WE ARE GOING OUT TO CHELSEA. A-FUCKING-GAIN.

Hey guys, next time I decide to support a team that always comes really close and then chokes, please remind me of moments like these and the World Cup. This isn't even actually close though, is the thing. *cliffs self*

ELIZA OUR SONG DIDN'T WORK. WHY? WHY? I THINK IT ONLY WORKS AGAINST MAN U. FUUUUUUCK.

ETA: Okay, listening to Sinatra's "That's Life" is helping to calm me from my melodramatic depression. *deep breaths* I need to go read some Sookie Stackhouse.

R.I.P. sarkastic

Killed after Liverpool caused her one too many heart attacks/orgasms.

BRB, staring at league table and crying with joy. Also arranging marriage to Yossi Benayoun.

Fucking 92nd minute, Liverpool. You will actually cause my death.

Also it would be great if Nando could stop sucking.

ETA: Yay! Stuttgart is in UEFA Europa Cup qualifying position now. \o/